If anything, I can say it's been a rather inspiring week or so, thus far.
Yesterday I delved into the world of hallucinogens for the first, but more than likely, not the last time. I can't even begin to elaborate on my experience despite how hard I've tried to form some sort of explanation.
In reality, the entire time, I was horribly frightened. I didn't even remember smoking the salvia after my trip had begun. It was as if I'd forgotten who I was, where I was and what was going on. I looked at my friend, as time slowed down and smiled to tell him I could feel it. But as I opened my mouth to announce my immense high, everything around me started to vibrate rapidly. It was as if I was watching soundwaves or something. Standing up was the worst idea I'd ever had. The vibrations got worse, much worse. The only thing that was continuiously still was my other friend who was also tripping. Because he was the only thing I could focus on, I walked towards him. I walked out of his screened porch, tripping on myself and looked at him to see everything behind him break away into blankness. Iopened my mouth again to speak. I wanted to tell him "Thank you. This is incredible." but I only managed to mumble "I'm not ok."
As he came towards me to help, our other friend (the third person we were sharing this experience with) came outside. He looked at us and said something that wasn't audible at all. Then he ran towards the ladder leading to the roof of the house.
It was at this point that I walked back inside and put my head down. I fought for reality but only sank deeper into my trip. It felt like it'd been hours but was only five minutes of the most intense feeling conceivable. As it ended, it seemed as if my mind had imploded on itself. I could hear footsteps above my head. For a moment I thought I was still in this world of insanity, but realized it was only my two friends. Shortly after that, they both came inside with blank stares on their faces. As if they'd seen death and come back. For the next hour, we were silent. Sitting together trying to gather our thoughts. The only thing I could think of was how badly I wished Sam, or anyone for that matter,was next to me holding my hand telling me I wasn't alone.
After the hour had passed, I felt empty. But at the same time, oddly enough, rejuvinated.
To sum it up, I don't think I'd do salvia again because I was lost in a place that I couldn't get back from. I was thrown back. I'd like to try other things just to say I've experienced it, but hallucinogenic drugs, as well as every other drug besides good ol' ganja, aren't exactly up my ally.

I'm grateful for reality.